On an extended morning walk this week with an intentional mama, I got the chance to think more closely about the idea of wants and needs. As you know, we must constantly strive to balance meeting our own mama needs and the needs of our family on a daily basis. Many moms are infamous for eliminating their own needs from the list in order to meet the high demands of their little ones.
However, in having this discussion, my friend shared that she has discovered that she is actually very good about meeting her needs, but that it is her wants that she denies herself. I thought that was fascinating.
Some of our common mama needs are: eating well, getting enough sleep, exercising, maintaining financial security, parenting with intention, nurturing our marriage, etc. For me, striving to meet this list of needs is a task.
For my friend, these things are falling into place, but she feels the lack of simple selfish pleasures – the little things that make life joyful and even exciting and fun.
I have no problem indulging in a night of card-making/scrapbooking or meeting my friends or sisters for a cup of coffee or catching up on my DVR’d Oprah shows or spending an evening talking for 3 hours to a long-distance friend. But I intuitively feel that my needs are being neglected as my wants are fully taken care of.
Certainly there is overlap at times between our list of needs and our list of wants and there’s even some conflict between the two! Case in point: I need sleep but I want to stay up late because it is so wonderful to glow in some time alone.
My coaching question for you is: Are you favoring your needs or your wants right now? Are you finding them in conflict with one another and what is in your way of meeting both?