So much of my work on my blog and coaching work with other mothers is inspired by my own personal challenges as a mom.
This past Fall, after sending out an invitation to join me for a cup of morning Joe to all the 1st grade parents, I received an email from one of the recipients that said, “Sorry, some of us actually have to work for a living and aren’t rich, spoiled stay-at-home Moms.”
Some of you may remember it as I wrote about it in my e-zine.
It’s never been easy, but this past week felt particularly difficult as a mom at home. Our family, like so many other families I know, is experiencing the pains of financial overwhelm. I don’t regret making the decision to stay home with my children 7 years ago. My values and my desire to create the kind of family life I’ve always imagined meant that I would put my energies into nurturing my babies and keeping the home fires burning. Despite the trials, it does have its rewards.
I imagined working from home becoming less complicated as our children got older and more independent. Somehow, the financial responsibilities make it necessary for me to figure out how to generate more income. I have had to think about the possibility of going back to work. I met with one of my favorite former bosses over dinner back in November. I felt a rush, imagining myself returning to the world I knew and loved prior to having my children.
My head began to spin on the way home from that dinner. I imagined the reality of such a change for our family. For seven years I haven’t had to figure out alternative childcare, after-school options, sick-care plans, or summer camp registration so that I could work outside the home. All of a sudden thinking about working again in my field felt overwhelming and daunting. I began to imagine the hurried mornings, the long days that would circle me back to my home in time for dinner, bath, and bedtime for my children. It is amazing to think about how much of their lives I would miss.
It wouldn’t be my arms my 4 year old would run into after preschool and I wouldn’t hear his tales of pretend play or the treasure he found in the gravel. I wouldn’t get to lie next to him on the couch for a story and a nap. There wouldn’t be an afternoon of sibling play or before-dinner-chores.
It isn’t easy working from home. There are days I envy the moms who have figured it out so that they have the uninterrupted time to work in their field each day, leave the work at the office so that when they’re home they dedicate their time to their family. Designing my own business at home has meant stolen moments to write, read, and coach. Mornings, evening, weekends, naptimes, …these become work hours. When I’m not working, I’m cleaning, guiding, cooking, and chauffeuring.
I’m committed to make working from home a success. Although, it meant moving out of our home, renting an apartment, and ultimately sharing a home with my parents – something we have found incredibly successful, it has always felt intuitively right. We’ve taken the road less traveled. There’s no easy path, but on the road to creating simplicity and nurturing a slow childhood, I hope I can be a source of support to others.
In a culture that defines success as making and doing more, I’m choosing to swim upstream with no regrets – pass the bon-bons.
This really spoke to me….your deep commitment to living without regrets is truly inspiring. We, too, are facing the need for more income, as my husband is self-employed and I am partially employed, with exactly half of my take-home going to childcare for the few hours I DO work outside the home. From a financial perspective, it is hardly worth it, but it allows my daughter to attend a great school. Surely I can be creative about generating more income without “selling my soul”. I’m encouraged.
Blessings on your day, Angie
This is really inspiring to me. I am a working mom and I surely regret the time that I spend on my work while I should be looking after my son. Every moment, something inside me says, “I wish you would have spent a little more time with your child.”
Commuting to work and getting back for dinner time… I feel the longing in his eyes…
I wish the world was a less competitive place to be for moms.
Angie, thanks so much for your comment. It’s rough for families right now. I know what you mean about looking at the benefit of what you’re doing and if it means your daughter can spend her time in a school that nourishes her spirit, than that is a great gift you are giving to her. And absolutely you can figure out a creative solution to this without “selling your soul.” If enough moms put their heads together about how to generate income from home, I bet we could make incredible changes! Hang in there, mama. I commend you for being so intentional about what you want for your child!
Sujata, it breaks my heart to hear your words, mama. It would be my wish for mothers to rise up as one voice and fight for the right to take care of our little ones in the first three years and to be compensated for that so that moms don’t feel the burden of having to farm their babies out in order to financially survive. I think in many ways, if we’re open to the possibilities and we are fearless and we are willing to do anything to make it happen, miracles do come true. I hear your love in your words for your little boy and I hope you can acknowledge that you’re doing the best you can – your love, your desire to nurture his spirit, it will make all the difference. Be open, Sujata, you never know what might change your circumstances that could allow you more time with your little one. Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment.