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Posts Tagged ‘rituals’

Mama, You Deserve A Free Gift!

Monday, May 3rd, 2010

In celebration of Mother’s Day, I am offering you the opportunity to receive a copy of Renee Trudeau’s beautiful book, The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal.

This book is not only full of incredible wisdom and guidance for moms as they experience motherhood, it is a book you will enjoy touching.  The book serves as a companion guide, a journal, and a source of reference.  The smooth blue and green cover and the journaling pages inside make it a gorgeous coffee table or bedside book for all new and not-so-new mamas.

To win this free copy that will be snail mailed to the lucky mama, just comment on this post and let me know what self-care ritual you have incorporated into your daily or weekly life with young children.  Be sure to mention the ages of your children.

I look so forward to reading how all of you are striving to renew your spirit despite the challenges you might be experiencing with lack of sleep and overwhelm that parenting young children brings.

Need more help making self-care a priority? Join Renee Trudeau for a Free Class this month on Reclaiming Adventure in Your Life – this is part of the Live Inside Out movement Renee started.  Visit the link and find out the details about the free class.

If you experience problems in making a comment on this post, make sure you click on the post title on the actual website of noblemother.com

Tags: integrity, intention, motherhood, rituals, Self-Care, tribe
Posted in motherhood | 4 Comments »

Day 7: Simplify Birthdays, Festivals, Vacations, & Holidays

Sunday, April 4th, 2010

What truly makes something special? If there’s anything that brings more calm into our life it’s keeping the birthdays, vacations, Holy Days, and holidays fun, but low-key and very simple.  It’s too easy to fall into the overwhelm and stress of making memories.

Where do you even begin in simplifying these festive times? I’ve collected ideas in the past few years that help me stay accountable to keeping things manageable and I want to share them with you to inspire you to do the same.

VACATIONS

I read a great article a few years ago in Wonder Time Magazine about a family that planned vacations in a very unique way.  Their goals were to:

  • disconnect – unplug from cell phones, computers, and television as a family for 1-2 nights to completely get away from “life as usual”.
  • relax – enjoy one another’s company by being fully present without an agenda.
  • escape at least 4 times each year for a weekend together.
  • make the vacation centered on the hotel amenities – the indoor pool, big breakfast, elevator rides.
  • create tradition – purchasing some kind of new game to play or art project to do in the room, read or tell stories, play charades or hot potato – something easy and non-competitive.

This family took to heart that vacations with young children aren’t easy. Despite your best intentions, your little ones do so much better when their routines are upheld – their regular meals, naps, and bedtime.

A great idea is to choose a hotel like Embassy Suites 1-2 hours from home (just in case someone gets sick or hurt, home is easy to get to), buy a new game, and look forward to a relaxing hotel stay.  That’s it.  That ‘s the plan.  When you have babies, toddlers, and preschoolers you’re going to have a higher vacation success rate because a plan like this is low-key, inexpensive, relaxing, and your expectations are super low.  Getting more frequent breaks because it’s short and affordable, keeps your spirits up because you know a get-away is coming up sooner rather than later.

HOLIDAYS

It can be hard for me to hold back my excitement for particular holidays and not go overboard on decorations and activities.  My favorite holiday is Halloween.  I love the decorations, the pumpkin patch visits, the hot cocoa and spooky story times on-the-lawn at our local co-op, costume parties, and, of course trick-or-treating.  Whew.  So, I’m really trying to think about how to simplify this holiday for my family.

This year, my goal is to create a nature table for each  season that allows the kids to participate and to celebrate and focus on bringing the great outdoors, in rather than filling the house with lots of nick knacks – choosing a few select items unique to that festive time.  My kids love to collect things from outside and add them to the nature table.  Leaves, acorns, feathers, pinecones, gourds in the fall;   berries, candles, and sprigs of evergreen in winter;  flowers, eggs, seedlings, and clovers in spring;  and shells, drift wood, and stones in summer.

Placing the emphasis on nature will help me stay away from buying more holiday paraphernalia and from having to put up stuff, take it down, put it up, take it down.  Since the seasons are longer than any given holiday, it will be less stressful.

During the holiday times, I look at all of the activities and try to focus on one or two. For example, in the fall, the pumpkin patch is a great family tradition for us and celebrating the holiday with an hour of trick-or-treating on the 31st seems reasonable.

After a gleeful night of trick-or-treating, our kids leave their bags of candy on the front porch for “The Halloween Witch.”  She leaves them 3-5 pieces of candy and exchanges the rest for one small toy.  This past year, my daughter received a craft kit and my son got a dragon figurine; they were thrilled and I didn’t have weeks of negotiating candy rations!

Another great tip I got from a fellow mommy blogger — keep the Halloween costume reserved for Halloween night only (and then it can go into the dress up box). Wow! This makes total sense to me since my children decide at the beginning of the month on a costume and by Halloween night they are crying because they want to be something else; the chosen costume no longer holds its allure because they’ve been wearing it all month long!

Because there is so much more to simplifying these special times for our family, I am creating an e-book chock full of ideas and tips on all of the holidays, birthdays, and vacation weeks.  Stay tuned for more information about this valuable resource.

I’d love to hear your feedback about how you make your yearly traditions special and simple for your little ones.

Tags: birthdays, Children Under Age 7, family culture, festivals, holidays, rhythm, rituals, vacations
Posted in 10 Days to a Calmer Family | 5 Comments »

Tears, Misbehavior, & The Importance of Rhythm

Friday, January 8th, 2010

happyboyHi Raelee,

I just wanted to let you know of a really rewarding experience I had with B this morning.

After a super hectic holiday and quite an extended period of disrupted routine,
I was noticing a lot of “behaviors”. He was more easily frustrated, more quick to resort to tears and shouting “no”, hitting, and throwing. His attention span was greatly diminished. And he was playing on his own A LOT less (he generally plays calmly about 50% of our day). Yesterday, I was feeling pretty low about the whole situation myself which, of course, just seemed to make matters worse.

This morning, I stopped negotiating. I stopped trying to make it easier for him. I stopped trying to compromise, to please him. I refused to play trucks when he wanted me to, offering cuddles, stories, block or play dough instead. I refused to get out another activity when he immediately gave up on the first one he had requested.

And, guess what? He cried a lot. He pulled my arms and insisted. He threw something. I took it away (that’s the rule). He flailed his arms at me. I said, “You may not hurt me. I will not let you hit.” And he went for his blanket and his binky and self soothed for about 5 minutes. Then he latched on to something else and we went through the same routine.

I stuck with my answers. I re-emphasized the expectations and the boundaries of what was acceptable. Rather than catering to him in an effort to make things easier on us both – which I had been doing out of exhaustion and frustration since the holidays – I stated the rule and I stuck by it. And I didn’t go along with what he wanted to do when I knew I would be miserable and resentful.

And that was it. He was back to his calm, cheerful, focused self – the little guy I had been missing since the hectic holidays. Woo Hoo for routine! We had a fabulous day together, going through the familiar daily rituals. And the suppertime breakdowns in the evening were even far improved over the past couple of days. I feel like he really just needed the parameters drawn again and that’s why he had been “acting up”. It just took me a while to catch on!

Peace,
S.

Thanks so much to S. for sharing her success story!  I hope this supports the noble mother community as we strive to figure out the best way to respond to our children when they are challenged by their own daily inner work.  I would recommend reading this article about tears and crying by Aletha Solter to continue your understanding about the necessity of allowing children the space to work out their own stress, anxiety, and traumas through crying.  I welcome your success stories as well as your parenting challenges, mamas!!

~Raelee

Tags: Aletha Solter, assertiveness, Aware Parenting, Children Under Age 7, choices, communication, consequences, discipline, family culture, fortitude, independence, rhythm, rituals, routine, self-discipline, tantrums, teaching, tears
Posted in rhythm | 3 Comments »

Making Meal Time Work

Tuesday, December 8th, 2009

kidsDinner can be an enjoyable meal or something to dread. I have to admit I don’t always enjoy shopping and cooking dinner.  There have been many nights when I stare blankly in the fridge and pantry at a complete loss.  Last year I had implemented a system of assigning a theme for each night.  So, Monday night was Mexican night, Tuesday was chicken night, etc.  It made life so much easier and I never felt stumped about dinner.  The kids were better eaters too because they knew what to expect.

Well, like a lot of moms, I drifted away from it as I experimented with new recipes or got thrown off when I missed a shopping trip at the beginning of the week.  I’m back on track and want to share with you how much easier meals are again when I plan ahead.  I can’t emphasize enough how much this helps my children when I stay consistent and predictable with assigned meals.  My 3.5 year old is particularly decisive about food and we have fewer challenges when I stick with the plan.

Mondays – Soup Night
Some of our favorite soups: minestrone, sweet potato, or carrot & leek soup.

Tuesdays – Mexican Night
This might be bean and cheese quesadillas, tacos or enchiladas.  I recently tried a black bean and sweet potato quesadilla – delicious!

Wednesdays – Easy Meal Night
I love baked potatoes with bean or turkey chili and plain Greek yogurt on top. Quick, easy, and delicious!

Thursdays – Greek Night
I love falafel with yogurt, pita bread, cucumbers and toms.

Fridays – Pizza Night
I make the dough in the breadmaker, spread the sauce, roast the veggies in the oven for 30-40 minutes (red pepper, mushrooms, squash minced really tiny with olive oil and salt).  The kids can add black olive or pineapples and cheese on top.

Saturday and Sundays are little less planned due to different schedules and activities.  We might have a sandwich night.  The kids love turkey meatloaf or make a yummy black bean soup or roast a chicken.

Hope this inspires you to create your own weekly meal plan! I would love to hear your ideas.  One of my goals is to use less dairy, more legumes and veggies in kid-friendly meals.

Bon Appetit!

Tags: dinner-hour, family culture, rituals, simplicity parenting
Posted in simplicity | 1 Comment »

A Family Ritual That “Stuck”

Saturday, September 5th, 2009

dinnercandleGetting my kids to the dinner table has been somewhat of a monumental task in the past.  They would be engaged in some activity and I found that I would be forced to repeat myself that dinner had been served.  Meanwhile, by the time they got there, their spaghetti would be stone cold.

My 6 year old asked one evening, as I prepared our quesadillas, that we should light a candle for dinner and make it special.  She insisted that we turn off the lights in our dining area and in the kitchen so we could eat our meal in the dim glow of candlelight.  I thought it was a great idea.  We dug out two pillar candles and found the holders.

Our simple meal turned into “special time” according to my 3 year old.  He firmly stated, “We don’t light candles at lunch time because lunch isn’t special enough.”

We’ve tried rituals before, Friday night pizza night, or Saturday morning farmer’s market outings, but these small family rituals never stuck past a couple of tries.  Creating a family ritual that “sticks” is part of finding the right one that fits your family.

Since lighting the dinner candles, it’s been easier to get the children to the table and for them to sit throughout the meal until dinner is officially over.  They each have their own candle to blow out at the meal’s end.  The ambiance sets the tone for a warm, family experience that inspires everyone to share with one another our day’s adventures.

What family rituals have you incorporated into your own family that have “stuck?”  We’re always interested in new ideas!

Tags: dinner-hour, discipline, rituals
Posted in rituals | 1 Comment »

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