family culture « Noble Mother

Posts Tagged ‘family culture’

Raising Children & Sharing Your Gifts With the World? A Lot Depends on Who You Married

Monday, June 21st, 2010

Finding our way as mothers is no easy task. The past 7.5 years have been such a journey of discovery for me. In hindsight I would focus solely on my babies without the distraction of also pursuing my passions. Babies and toddlers just don’t stay babies and toddlers forever and creating the family nest for everyone takes energy and time.

I’m grateful that my outside passions didn’t lead me outside of the home, but I do feel compassion for myself as I see how much I struggled in trying to do too much while mothering little ones.

It feels like I’m coming out of a dark haze now with a 4 and 7.5 year old. A dark haze of early motherhood. I’m emerging into a new phase in my own development as they are in theirs. We’ve found community through their school, I’ve found a space in the world to express my deepest passion in supporting families in the work of home life through simplicity parenting, and my husband and I have discovered a beautiful parenting harmony.

In one of my previous posts I was sharing with you my stream of consciousness around how to make it all work and what will I tell my own daughter about motherhood. As things have developed, it is becoming more and more evident that the partner one chooses is critical to the full development of both partners.

Despite my husband’s background of an overwhelmed single mom and barely-there dad, he has an incredible desire to be present with our kids and is a true helpmate to me. While we both appreciate our parenting strengths – I have a gentle, patient, nurturing flexibility in balance with his assertive, self-disciplined, cooperative confidence – there’s a foundational understanding that the realm of the home and parenting are primarily mine. For us, this has been the key to harmony. It doesn’t mean we don’t consult or agree together on things, but there is a generous and trusting spirit that allows me the opportunity to design the family culture with his incredible support and acceptance. The tone of the home, the rhythms, and the celebrations – these responsibilities are my world.

I think his trusting acceptance that the home and children are more of my realm comes from his confidence and belief in his own gifts, skills, and passions that secure his identity. No doubt it helps that we share a common spiritual faith, but in the past 11 years a deep trust of the other has developed as well.

What will I ultimately share with my daughter about motherhood?

Choose a partner for life, wisely.
Find a man whose life decisions exhibit strength of character.
Talk about family life before you get married.

Feminism shouldn’t be about becoming the same as men. It should be about the freedom for both men and women to acknowledge the importance of nurturing children in support of one another in fulfilling our individual work in the world.

Tags: Children Under Age 7, choices, communication, family culture, rhythm, simplicity parenting, working mom
Posted in motherhood, Uncategorized | No Comments »

Slow Parenting is Catching On

Thursday, April 15th, 2010

It’s really exciting to see that things might start to change sooner rather than later. Here’s the movie trailer (below) for a new film coming out called, Race to Nowhere.

Tags: family culture, simplicity parenting, slow parenting, soul fever
Posted in simplicity | 2 Comments »

Day 8: Create a Calm Environment

Tuesday, April 6th, 2010

When I think about creating a more calm family life in my home, it makes sense to think about the environment. Here are 5 great tips to help you simplify your home space that you read more about here as well.

1. Make It Cozy – It’s especially important for babies, toddlers, and preschoolers to have a space that allows for good acoustics. Wood floors and high ceilings are more popular today than ever before. In these beautiful spacious homes there can be a lot of echoing – not only can this be slightly cold but it can be very difficult for our little ones to understand our words while they are learning to speak. You can create a cozier space and help the acoustics with rugs and fun cloths draped on the ceilings.

2. Natural Lighting – It’s well known that fluorescent lights are not good for our health. Thank goodness we don’t usually have fluorescent lights in our homes. The more natural light you can bring into your home, the more calming and peaceful. A lovely way to start or end the day is with candlelight. Candlelight is something that invites us to be still and quiet. As long as there is safety and supervision, it can be something to introduce into your morning or bedtime routine.

3. Reduce Noise – Some of the best ways to reduce the noise factor in our homes is to turn the TV set off when no one is watching. It’s preferable with young children to limit recorded music – radio and CDs – aren’t as preferable as live music. If you used to play the guitar, flute, piano, or the clarinet, bring it out, mama! I was so inspired by one mom who had never played an instrument and decided to teach herself the penny whistle. She began taking her penny whistle to the park with her kids – so cool. You can certainly find a lot more peace by clearing out the toys. Pssst…I give you complete permission to rid your home of those noisy toys.

4. Be Careful of Smells! – Kids are super sensitive to smells and their behavior will show it. Chemicals from toxic cleaners (mama, if you’re still using Windex, bleach, and Tide – for shame – you know I love you, right? – but, those things are terrible for our little ones and for us). Hyperactivity, aggression, poor cognition, confusion…these can all be caused by powerful smells. Time to put aside strong smelling perfumes and aftershave. Febreeze and Glade – these are strong chemicals that can hi-jack your child’s amygdala and truly be a source of difficulties you may be experiencing with the little ones. You can clean effectively and safely and open the windows for fresh air rather than creating the “fresh” scent with damaging chemicals.

5. Eat Clean – It’s time to rid your pantry, fridge, and freezer of those big hit foods and flavors. I’ve been super inspired by Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution. I love veggies and I’m striving to cook more and more vegetarian and vegan meals for my family. Jamie does a great job at making those processed foods that are full of chemicals, look totally disgusting. Make a commitment to cook healthier and sign Jaime’s pledge! It’s easy to look at efficiency when we are trying to feed our kids and settle for the fake macaroni and cheese or chicken nuggets, but we’re setting them up to refuse to eat real food since processed food is such “big hit flavors” that vegetables, fruit, and grains taste like cardboard to our kids. French fries do not count as a vegetable. This week I’m planning to make a delicious wheatberry salad and a lentil salad that pop with flavor and are so good for us!

Mama, there are a lot of ideas here to think about. Now, don’t overwhelm yourself and try to implement everything today. Focus on one do-able change for this week when it comes to your environment.

What tip connects to you most?

Tags: bedtime, candlelight, Children Under Age 7, family culture, Kim John Payne, meals, rhythm, routine, simplicity parenting, toys
Posted in 10 Days to a Calmer Family | No Comments »

Day 7: Simplify Birthdays, Festivals, Vacations, & Holidays

Sunday, April 4th, 2010

What truly makes something special? If there’s anything that brings more calm into our life it’s keeping the birthdays, vacations, Holy Days, and holidays fun, but low-key and very simple. It’s too easy to fall into the overwhelm and stress of making memories.

Where do you even begin in simplifying these festive times? I’ve collected ideas in the past few years that help me stay accountable to keeping things manageable and I want to share them with you to inspire you to do the same.

VACATIONS

I read a great article a few years ago in Wonder Time Magazine about a family that planned vacations in a very unique way. Their goals were to:

disconnect – unplug from cell phones, computers, and television as a family for 1-2 nights to completely get away from “life as usual”.
relax – enjoy one another’s company by being fully present without an agenda.
escape at least 4 times each year for a weekend together.
make the vacation centered on the hotel amenities – the indoor pool, big breakfast, elevator rides.
create tradition – purchasing some kind of new game to play or art project to do in the room, read or tell stories, play charades or hot potato – something easy and non-competitive.

This family took to heart that vacations with young children aren’t easy. Despite your best intentions, your little ones do so much better when their routines are upheld – their regular meals, naps, and bedtime.

A great idea is to choose a hotel like Embassy Suites 1-2 hours from home (just in case someone gets sick or hurt, home is easy to get to), buy a new game, and look forward to a relaxing hotel stay. That’s it. That ‘s the plan. When you have babies, toddlers, and preschoolers you’re going to have a higher vacation success rate because a plan like this is low-key, inexpensive, relaxing, and your expectations are super low. Getting more frequent breaks because it’s short and affordable, keeps your spirits up because you know a get-away is coming up sooner rather than later.

HOLIDAYS

It can be hard for me to hold back my excitement for particular holidays and not go overboard on decorations and activities. My favorite holiday is Halloween. I love the decorations, the pumpkin patch visits, the hot cocoa and spooky story times on-the-lawn at our local co-op, costume parties, and, of course trick-or-treating. Whew. So, I’m really trying to think about how to simplify this holiday for my family.

This year, my goal is to create a nature table for each season that allows the kids to participate and to celebrate and focus on bringing the great outdoors, in rather than filling the house with lots of nick knacks – choosing a few select items unique to that festive time. My kids love to collect things from outside and add them to the nature table. Leaves, acorns, feathers, pinecones, gourds in the fall; berries, candles, and sprigs of evergreen in winter; flowers, eggs, seedlings, and clovers in spring; and shells, drift wood, and stones in summer.

Placing the emphasis on nature will help me stay away from buying more holiday paraphernalia and from having to put up stuff, take it down, put it up, take it down. Since the seasons are longer than any given holiday, it will be less stressful.

During the holiday times, I look at all of the activities and try to focus on one or two. For example, in the fall, the pumpkin patch is a great family tradition for us and celebrating the holiday with an hour of trick-or-treating on the 31st seems reasonable.

After a gleeful night of trick-or-treating, our kids leave their bags of candy on the front porch for “The Halloween Witch.” She leaves them 3-5 pieces of candy and exchanges the rest for one small toy. This past year, my daughter received a craft kit and my son got a dragon figurine; they were thrilled and I didn’t have weeks of negotiating candy rations!

Another great tip I got from a fellow mommy blogger — keep the Halloween costume reserved for Halloween night only (and then it can go into the dress up box). Wow! This makes total sense to me since my children decide at the beginning of the month on a costume and by Halloween night they are crying because they want to be something else; the chosen costume no longer holds its allure because they’ve been wearing it all month long!

Because there is so much more to simplifying these special times for our family, I am creating an e-book chock full of ideas and tips on all of the holidays, birthdays, and vacation weeks. Stay tuned for more information about this valuable resource.

I’d love to hear your feedback about how you make your yearly traditions special and simple for your little ones.

Tags: birthdays, Children Under Age 7, family culture, festivals, holidays, rhythm, rituals, vacations
Posted in 10 Days to a Calmer Family | 5 Comments »

Day 6: Create More Silence

Thursday, April 1st, 2010

Interestingly enough, silence really is golden. I think the trend and best practice advice has always been to talk your way through the day with your baby, toddler, or preschooler. The thinking behind the advice to interact verbally with our children has always been about building that brain and creating those neural pathways.

What would you think if the good word was to limit your sportscasting skills?

“Parents who talk too much to (or at) their children often cause them to tune out or to rebel by arguing or being disobedient. Once family agreements have been made to do things a certain way, based on shared values, a wise parent should expect certain results…Although it is hard to be quiet, do not admonish harshly nor lecture repeatedly. Speak once, and expect to be heard.” ~ The Tao of Parenting

“When we talk over and under and around a child – when we talk too much – there’s less space for their thoughts, for what they have to say. A child’s curiosity and creativity are stifled when they believe that something is not “real” unless, or until you talk about it. It’s hard for a child to go down deeply into their play when someone is telecasting their every move. Processed information is like processed foods: quick and easy.” ~ Simplicity Parenting

I love the advice of author and therapist, Kim John Payne, to strive to say only what is kind, true, and necessary to our children. This is also acknowledging that there are some adult topics that are not suitable for little ears. Our financial challenges, sex lives, and the details of the neighbor’s divorce are not appropriate to discuss in front of our kids. This means that when our children ask us questions about the world – the things they hear and see that may be inappropriate – that we serve as a filter for them when responding to these questions.

For example, recently at a friend’s potluck my friend mentioned that her 4 year old asked her what it feels like to get your tongue pierced. Another mom responded, “Well, at least she didn’t ask you why!” The bottom line is it wouldn’t matter if she had asked why, since it would be completely inappropriate to explain sexual stimulation to a 4 year old.

I think we generally use our common sense and we know intuitively what is and what is not appropriate to tell children and to talk about in front of them; however, it’s always good to have a clear reminder because these lines seem to become more and more gray in our morally corrupt culture.

You create a standard in your home of what words are okay and what words are not. Each family will determine what sounds respectful and courteous. Here are a few samples from our home:

We don’t say “butt” – we say “bottom”

We don’t say “fart” – we say “toot”

We don’t say “boobs” – we say “beebos” or “breasts”

We don’t say “shut-up” – we say “please be quiet”

We don’t say “stupid” – we say “silly”

Words are powerful and create an atmosphere of respect and meaning. Many parents have slipped into swearing in front of their children and more and more kids use “damn,” and “hell,” and it only goes down hill from there. It may seem odd to think about talking less, filtering adult conversation, and bringing back a courteous culture when you think about creating a calmer family life. I think by focusing on how we communicate with one another, the words we choose, the topics we discuss – we create peace through these every day connections.

It would be great to hear about your courtesy standard – what words are not allowed in your home and how have you replaced them?

Tags: Children Under Age 7, communication, family culture, imitation, Kim John Payne, self-discipline, simplicity parenting, teaching
Posted in 10 Days to a Calmer Family | 4 Comments »

Day 3: Allow Soul Fever to Run Its Course

Thursday, March 25th, 2010

We’ve been exploring the topic of soul fever in this series of creating a calmer family life. Once we’ve noticed that our child is out-of-sync and we intuitively feel they need some intentional down-time, we can briefly stop the normal routines, and stay close to our little one for support.

We’re so used to filling up our days with a task and to-do list that it can sound almost impossible to take a break from that daily roller coaster. But, again, think of a soul fever just like you would a physical fever. You know that pushing a sick child to keep going through the normal paces of life might result in a longer or more severe sickness. Well, I know how much you want a better sleeper, less picky eater, more cooperative, content child. What if slowing down and taking some things off your plate would help you achieve that?

It’s tempting to believe that a slow afternoon and a stint of book reading on the couch will break a soul fever and allow you to move back into full throttle once again. And you never know, a soul fever might end the moment you just notice and pay attention to it with a fresh perspective. More than likely, however, it will need to just run its course. This might be a day or two or it might mean examining what you can simplify in one of the 4 areas: environment, routines, schedules, or in-coming information through screens and adult conversation.

For us, it was evident that the soul fever was brought on by a daily school environment that was a mismatch with what we felt our child needed for her spirit to thrive. Switching schools may not be the answer, but advocating for your child with your child’s teacher might be. Young children do not need busy work at home. The homework our kindergartners and 1st graders are expected to complete is not developmentally appropriate. Most of the time, these worksheets are a repeat of what your child did that same day in school.

Extra-curricular activities like music lessons and team sports can wait, or at least be limited to one per week, per child. Ideally, team sports are more appropriate for children 9 and older and music lessons don’t need to be pursued until grade school. Try not to combine all of these activities for your child to do at the same time. For the fall, if you must, sign your child up for one activity and choose another for the spring, and another for summer.

Keep providing a slow, consistent, supportive environment for your child while their soul fever runs its course. Don’t schedule more play-dates during this time. Just because you received 2-3 birthday invitations in one weekend doesn’t mean you need to attend all of them! It’s okay to put limits around your schedule so your children have more free time and can experience boredom at least once each day. Good, healthy food and plenty of rest are the two most important things you can provide children under 7. Snacks of fruit, veggies, and protein, dinners that include fiber and greens and an early bed time are going to nurture that spirit back to harmony.

To read more about soul fever, be sure to purchase a copy of Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne.

Tags: bedtime, Children Under Age 7, family culture, feelings, Kim John Payne, rhythm, routine, simplicity parenting, sleep, soul fever, The Will
Posted in 10 Days to a Calmer Family | 3 Comments »

10 Days To a Calmer Family: Day 1

Wednesday, March 17th, 2010

Do you have those days too? Those days when you know your little one just isn’t him or herself?

I feel it coming on – it’s in the air of our home when our little ones need more rest, more down time, more slowness. Like a physical fever, they need me to be close, to stop the busyness of the household, to provide more snuggles.

I remember this past Fall when the signs of soul fever were particularly heightened for my 1st grader. She was coming home teary and sullen. Mornings were difficult as we packed her things for school. Unlike her typical cheerfulness, she was often pouty and defiant about going. It kept me up nights knowing that her spirit wasn’t being nourished and like a magnet, I felt her need to be close to me.

My husband and I both agreed that she wasn’t in the right learning environment and we pulled her out. She spent two weeks with me at home while we decided what to do about school. The exhaustion and sullenness slipped away within the first week of reading books on the couch, grocery shopping, playing with her little brother, and being creative. There were no more worksheets or homework deadlines, no more spelling tests. The cloud of overwhelm and hurriedness of 1st grade blew away and we were seeing a bluer sky; the fever broke.

We made a radical decision for her to attend the Emerson Waldorf school, just 15 minutes from our home. Within the first 3 days it was like having the warm and happy child we knew, back. It will be 5 months at Emerson come April. Frequently, she tells me how happy she is. It’s hard for her to decide what she loves most – handwork, painting, German, Spanish, and math. Beautiful images, verses, stories, and movement provide the lesson plans. The work that she was once just learning through just paper and pencil has come to life, inspires her, warms her heart. Her busy classroom of letters, numbers, a whiteboard, bookshelves of books, cartons of supplies, posters, star charts for classroom chores, writing journals, and marker drawings – all of this was replaced with a bigger classroom of simple desks and chairs, cubbies for a blanket and pillow for rest, a hook for her coat, a shelf for her lunch, muted pink-peach walls with one row of watercolor paintings by the children, a blackboard with a colorful chalk drawing, and a row of rain boots outside. Even her classroom environment was inviting, warm, and calm.

Not every family can pull their child from one school and send them elsewhere when they recognize soul fever. What you can do, is be aware and notice when your child is giving you signs that he or she is overwhelmed, perhaps out-of-sorts, more moody, or when their behavior is more challenging.

I think what can be particularly interesting to note is that children of today are, more than ever before, being asked to participate in life with a soul fever. Defiant behavior, sleep problems, picky eating, over-controlling behaviors, aggression, and school difficulties can all be a result of a soul fever. Sadly, parents may not recognize these as symptoms of something actually wrong, but accepting that this is who their child has become.

What is at the core of a soul fever? Too much. Too much stuff – toys and clutter, too many choices, too many demands, too many scheduled activities, and too much information much too soon through media and adult conversation. AND not enough. Not enough down time, not enough free play, not enough time without screens, not enough creativity, not enough boredom, not enough silence.

So your task for today is to Notice if your child has a soul fever. Just like when you notice signs of a physical fever, there are signs of a soul fever. Is your child pouting or disagreeable in a more extreme way than usual? I’m not talking about the normal ups and downs during a regular day that your child will exhibit. I’m talking about something that doesn’t feel right to you, as a mother. A soul fever lingers. If it’s hard to judge because things have been over-the-top for awhile now, it actually may be a very clear sign that your child is desperate for a break.

I’ll share your next step in my next post once you’ve identified and noticed soul fever in your child and you’ve determined that your child is clearly overwhelmed, even if they seem to be going full speed ahead.

Tags: Children Under Age 7, family culture, feelings, Kim John Payne, soul fever, Waldorf
Posted in 10 Days to a Calmer Family | 6 Comments »

Your New Super Power: Predictability

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

I know that if someone told me that I could see more cooperation, less tantrums, and find more peace with a brand new super power, I would be the first in line. The good news is that you can claim your super power and can start reaping the benefits in a very short time.

The bad news is that it does require you to pull in a bit, shuffle some things around, and invite the thought to let some things go. Are you willing to try it in order to see what might transpire in your home with your young children?

Children thrive on predictability. One of the things that has helped me is understanding that our children think in pictures. They really need these visual images to help them understand what is happening, what you expect, and what it is exactly you want them to do. So, for example, on Mondays at our regular play date it can be really difficult for my son to be ready to go when it’s time. Instead of just announcing, “Okay, it’s time to go now,” I will prepare him in advance.

“Keats, in 5 minutes we’re going to get off the trampoline, get our coats on, and say good-bye.” I try to be brief but specific about each step. My goal is to create a visual image of him doing each thing that will lead us to the exit.

I know that there are families that really struggle with creating predictable rhythms. What is great to understand is that you don’t have to have your whole day mapped out in order for this super power to take affect. Create one or two things that you can create for your children that happens every day that is the same, predictable ritual. Meal times and bed times are a great place to start. If you can’t have a predictable dinner time, choose to have a predictable bed time.

One of our own mamas in the noblemother community shared this experience she had with her 3 year old this past weekend when they altered the Saturday morning routine. It’s truly amazing how balanced and even-tempered our children can become, the more rhythmical our days are. We can fully understand the power of the routine when we change things up!

Perhaps that’s one reason you haven’t wanted to create predictable routines in your family – you want your children to be able to adapt to the winds of change and to be spontaneous. I think on some level, we can all say that leading this unpredictable lifestyle day-in and day-out is stressful. Finding more rhythm for yourself will bring you more peace and a feeling of control which provides all of us with security.

Young children under age 7 respond well to routines. Here are some ideas for setting up daily routines that can help young children comply with the every day tasks…

- Create a special wake up routine. This might include kisses on the cheeks and a song.

“Good morning sun, good morning sun!
The night is gone, the day’s begun.
I’m certain while we work and play that God with help us through the day!”

- Light a candle for breakfast and let the children take turns blowing it out each day.
- Have the children practice their instruments (if they have them) after breakfast, rather than the afternoon.
- Before they get their coats on, have them check the outdoor thermometer.
- Set an egg timer while they brush their teeth or have them hum the Happy Birthday song.
- Incorporate movement and song as much as you can around things like washing their hands, setting the table, getting dressed, saying “good-night.”
- Keep afternoons reserved for free play – bike riding, outdoor play, a walk – rather than consistently scheduled. One scheduled activity per week is more than enough for young children.
- Have them put their clothes out the night before they go to sleep.
-Don’t be afraid of letting your kids get bored. Boredom leads children toward creativity. Without enough downtime, they may never have the opportunity to really let their imaginations soar or their creativity bloom.

I’d love for you to share some of your own helpful daily rituals with us. What routine has brought your family joy and more peacefulness?

Want to read more about predictability and rhythm? Check Out This Book!

Tags: Children Under Age 7, discipline, family culture, rhythm, routine, simplicity parenting
Posted in rhythm | No Comments »

Sweet Connection

Friday, February 19th, 2010

Since returning from Seattle this past Tuesday night, I’ve had two full days of sweet connections with my little ones. Both haven’t felt quite well – chest colds and sniffles. The morning of my return I got to spend some quiet morning time with my 7 year old, brushing her hair and picking out her clothes.

She was genuinely happy to see me and it felt wonderful to hold her and listen to her stories once again. My 4 year old woke up shortly there after and came bounding down the hallway into my arms. His little body fits so perfectly in my arms, with his legs wrapped around my waist, his arms around my neck.

The night before I had sat next to a mom in fatigues on the plane ride home. She told me that she’d been away from her 1 year old and 4 year old since just after Halloween; 4.5 months without her husband and children. It’s hard to imagine that kind of time passing without the snuggles of little arms. I felt gratitude, appreciation, empathy, and compassion all in one moment sitting next to that mama.

Tonight I rocked my 7 year old after my youngest fell asleep. She and I used to rock together every night before bedtime. We had special songs and prayers which felt right in singing and saying tonight during our nightly bedtime routine. She’s growing up so fast and I know that her long legs won’t fit across mine for much longer.

There really is nothing like it when you can be fully in the moment as a mama. It doesn’t happen all the time or, at least, I haven’t yet mastered the skill of round-the-clock mindfulness. I’m just really appreciating when the moment finds me. I’m hoping you’re finding these moments within the mayhem of motherhood too.

Tags: bedtime, Children Under Age 7, communication, family culture, listening, rhythm
Posted in motherhood | No Comments »

Tears, Misbehavior, & The Importance of Rhythm

Friday, January 8th, 2010

Hi Raelee,

I just wanted to let you know of a really rewarding experience I had with B this morning.

After a super hectic holiday and quite an extended period of disrupted routine, I was noticing a lot of “behaviors”. He was more easily frustrated, more quick to resort to tears and shouting “no”, hitting, and throwing. His attention span was greatly diminished. And he was playing on his own A LOT less (he generally plays calmly about 50% of our day). Yesterday, I was feeling pretty low about the whole situation myself which, of course, just seemed to make matters worse.

This morning, I stopped negotiating. I stopped trying to make it easier for him. I stopped trying to compromise, to please him. I refused to play trucks when he wanted me to, offering cuddles, stories, block or play dough instead. I refused to get out another activity when he immediately gave up on the first one he had requested.

And, guess what? He cried a lot. He pulled my arms and insisted. He threw something. I took it away (that’s the rule). He flailed his arms at me. I said, “You may not hurt me. I will not let you hit.” And he went for his blanket and his binky and self soothed for about 5 minutes. Then he latched on to something else and we went through the same routine.

I stuck with my answers. I re-emphasized the expectations and the boundaries of what was acceptable. Rather than catering to him in an effort to make things easier on us both – which I had been doing out of exhaustion and frustration since the holidays – I stated the rule and I stuck by it. And I didn’t go along with what he wanted to do when I knew I would be miserable and resentful.

And that was it. He was back to his calm, cheerful, focused self – the little guy I had been missing since the hectic holidays. Woo Hoo for routine! We had a fabulous day together, going through the familiar daily rituals. And the suppertime breakdowns in the evening were even far improved over the past couple of days. I feel like he really just needed the parameters drawn again and that’s why he had been “acting up”. It just took me a while to catch on!

Peace,
S.

Thanks so much to S. for sharing her success story! I hope this supports the noble mother community as we strive to figure out the best way to respond to our children when they are challenged by their own daily inner work. I would recommend reading this article about tears and crying by Aletha Solter to continue your understanding about the necessity of allowing children the space to work out their own stress, anxiety, and traumas through crying. I welcome your success stories as well as your parenting challenges, mamas!!

~Raelee

Tags: Aletha Solter, assertiveness, Aware Parenting, Children Under Age 7, choices, communication, consequences, discipline, family culture, fortitude, independence, rhythm, rituals, routine, self-discipline, tantrums, teaching, tears
Posted in rhythm | 3 Comments »

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