Scared At Night

nobleMama — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 12:16:31 +0000

Question From Lynn: Looking for your ideas….my dd has decided she’s afraid of shadows and doesn’t want to stay in her room when we put her to bed at night. So we’re back to staying with her until she falls asleep, and even then, she comes into our room during the night if she wakes up. Showing her what a shadow is has not changed her mind about them. She won’t be disuaded that they can’t hurt her.

Noble Mother Responds:

Hi Lynn,

There does seem to be an ebb and flow to bedtime fears. Try getting rid of the shadows by leaving her light on. We leave the kids’ lights on and then turn them out before we go to bed.

I think the goal is to help her feel safe in her room – leaving lights on, music, special toy – sometimes these rituals help. A really clever technique that works beautifully for ours is sitting in the rocking chair while they’re falling asleep when they are particularly freaked out and then I’ll say, “Oh, I’ll be right back I have to get the laundry out of the dryer. You go ahead and lie down and I’ll be right back.” I do this for about 5-10 minutes and they are usually fast asleep by my 3rd trip.

We also talk about God always there to protect them. We have a special protection prayer that they both know and we tell them that saying the prayer will help them fall asleep and bring their protection angels to them. I have a picture of 2 children walking along a path and there’s a guardian angel hovering above them. I had it on my wall when I was little and now they have it. They like that.

We’ve also built into our credit system a way to earn gems when you stay in your bed all night. It’s a great incentive!

What I’m learning is that the more tools I provide for them to create their safety and security, the better. If I allow their safety to be only about being with me, in my bed, then that becomes a crutch. However, I’m a big believer in following your intuition. I follow my gut some nights when I know that staying in their room reading or working on my laptop until they’re asleep is just what they need to feel secure.

I’d love for other moms to respond as well. If you have great bedtime tips for Lynn, please share!

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Scared At Night

A Family Ritual That “Stuck”

nobleMama — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 13:34:58 +0000

Getting my kids to the dinner table has been somewhat of a monumental task in the past. They would be engaged in some activity and I found that I would be forced to repeat myself that dinner had been served. Meanwhile, by the time they got there, their spaghetti would be stone cold.

My 6 year old asked one evening, as I prepared our quesadillas, that we should light a candle for dinner and make it special. She insisted that we turn off the lights in our dining area and in the kitchen so we could eat our meal in the dim glow of candlelight. I thought it was a great idea. We dug out two pillar candles and found the holders.

Our simple meal turned into “special time” according to my 3 year old. He firmly stated, “We don’t light candles at lunch time because lunch isn’t special enough.”

We’ve tried rituals before, Friday night pizza night, or Saturday morning farmer’s market outings, but these small family rituals never stuck past a couple of tries. Creating a family ritual that “sticks” is part of finding the right one that fits your family.

Since lighting the dinner candles, it’s been easier to get the children to the table and for them to sit throughout the meal until dinner is officially over. They each have their own candle to blow out at the meal’s end. The ambiance sets the tone for a warm, family experience that inspires everyone to share with one another our day’s adventures.

What family rituals have you incorporated into your own family that have “stuck?” We’re always interested in new ideas!

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A Family Ritual That “Stuck”

Noble Mother » rituals

Scared At Night

A Family Ritual That “Stuck”