Comments on: What Will You Tell Your Daughter About Motherhood?

By: Raising Children & Sharing Your Gifts With the World? A Lot Depends on Who You Married « Noble Mother

Mon, 21 Jun 2010 15:05:32 +0000

[...] one of my previous posts I was sharing with you my stream of consciousness around how to make it all work and what will I [...]

By: Emily

Emily — Mon, 31 May 2010 18:02:57 +0000

I think women’s lib failed us when it taught us that our worth is in the workplace and took away that option to feel valued in our own homes. Women should feel confident that they can contribute in what ever way suits them and the role of a housewife held up, not demeaned.

By: nobleMama

nobleMama — Sat, 29 May 2010 01:11:23 +0000

Rock on, Joey@BigTeeth&Clouds! Rock on!

By: Joey @ Big Teeth & Clouds

Joey @ Big Teeth & Clouds — Fri, 28 May 2010 22:39:50 +0000

By: P

Sun, 23 May 2010 22:11:52 +0000

This reminds me of something Anna Quindlen once wrote many years ago. At the time, her three children were young and she was opting to take a pause in her extensive writing career to tend more to her family. I can’t recall the exact quote from the column she wrote (announcing her decision to take time out and not do a column/write heavily for awhile), but it was something along the lines of noting that we had all been sold this “you can do it all/supermom” package, but that she finally learned for herself that yeah, you *could* do it all (work/marriage/family/personal life), but just not all *at the same time* (eg all of those things with equal intensity during the same phase in life). To *try* to do it all was to just do all of them poorly. That quote has stuck with me on days when I’ve been frustrated as a SAHM. Just remembering that it’s only a *phase* for me. And remembering all kinds of wonderful women role models who took up full fledged careers etc of all sorts AFTER their children were older or out of the house alltogether. Never too late to start a new career etc, but the kids are only young when they are young and that’s only once.

By: nobleMama

nobleMama — Sat, 22 May 2010 18:17:30 +0000

Lisa, so true, mama! I wish our society valued the exceptional work of parenting so that more mamas would model more joy and fulfillment from their lives.

By: nobleMama

nobleMama — Sat, 22 May 2010 18:12:19 +0000

Adrienne, it is so wonderful to hear how you’re finding the harmony of all of your roles. Having a supportive spouse is a true blessing. I love to hear your words of wisdom for your daughter – be sure to let both your son and daughter know that picking the right spouse is a big part of creating the life you want. I think you’ve touched on a lot of important keys to success here and it’s a unique combination – the right spouse, a passion for your work, a flexible schedule, ability to let go of the little things…love it!

By: Adrienne Harling

Adrienne Harling — Sat, 22 May 2010 17:43:28 +0000

It has taken me a lot of work to surrender to the demands of parenting young children. Mine are 6 and 1. But I have to report that I do feel balanced. I work my butt off, but thankfully have amazing support from my husband. I work a job I feel passionate about half time, and homeschool my son. My husband works four days and cares for the children on the fifth day of the work week. I know I am lucky to have this support, from all directions. I know my circumstances are not common (though I wish they were). My husband and I both have jobs that don’t earn very much but we love the work we do – we are both on missions we feel strongly about! This passion is part of our parenting, and I feel that we are showing our children that being yourself is important. This is one of the things I will tell/show my daughter about motherhood: know yourself, be yourself, and have a realistic idea of what parenting really involves! For me, it means staying in the present moment as much as I can, taking the time to teach and witness and care. This also translates into having a wildly unruly yard, forgetting things I have committed to for others, having piles and piles of laundry. It has been a long road since I gave birth to my first child, but I have to say I feel good about where we are right now. I enjoy my time with my children so much, and part of that joy is having the balance of my job – I am excited to go to work and excited for my days at home with my children. I think we all have to accept who we are, and by being ourselves (in balance, with the family at the center) will help us be authentic and happy in our lives with our kids. This can mean so many things, including staying at home full time, sharing earning roles with our partners if we are so lucky, somehow finding a situation that is balanced enough. You are so right, Raelee, that balance isn’t perfect during these years, and I really believe that we can’t do it all. But I am sure grateful to feel balanced enough right now, for however long that feeling lasts!

By: Lisa

Lisa — Sat, 22 May 2010 10:57:01 +0000

The partner’s values are so important, that they be similar and respectful is essential. Open to growth and transformation. The Inner work of the partner. I suspect that all our children believe about motherhood is deeply imbued in them from our actions over the course of their lives.