It is natural to feel pulled toward the work that you feel passionate about – your career. It is rare to find a woman who is truly fulfilled by the tasks of homemaking. It is difficult to find the extraordinary from the ordinary. One has be almost Buddha-like to find joy from the daily laundry, clean-up, and meal preparation.
Does that make us bad mothers? Should we feel guilty that our mind wanders and we yearn to get back to responding to our companions over a cup of tea, at a meeting, or through an email or blog message?
No, it does not make us bad mothers for not feeling whole or complete by the tasks of the home. We are educated women who are change makers and healers and we have destinies that do lead us out of the home.
Our conflict, our challenge isn’t to convince ourselves that dishes and laundry are amazing. It is to acknowledge that as mothers to young children we are investing time into being present to these little ones as their spiritual mentors. It is our love and guidance that makes all the difference in these early years to their own development of who they will become. Being committed to the work of mothering is to be committed to your own inner work. Your child can pick up on your unrest, your dissatisfaction, your resentment of mothering.
There is a season for everything, mama. Bringing these sweet babies into your life is no simple decision, no easy task. At times you may feel like a butterfly pinned to a mounting board; you’re so ready to fly and yet, you can see the soul fever in yourself, in your little ones when you do. Being mindfully present, stretching yourself to find the spiritual in the mundane, this is intense inner work for any human being. You will not be given this opportunity forever; mothering young children is not a life sentence – they do grow up.
Take a breath. Slide into this time with ease and the perspective of a zen master. Your day when you can fly solo will come – will you be ready? Think of the lessons you can learn from this unique time in your career of the heart, this time of young motherhood.
“Parenting takes a tremendous amount of energy. If you don’t keep your energy replenished, you become frazzled, harried, short-tempered and otherwise hard to be around. Especially while your children are young, you need to make sure that you get adequate sleep. It helps to have some kind of meditation or practice or prayer, even five minutes a day, that can help to keep you centered. Creative activities such as art, music, sculpture or dance are also unique in actually replenishing the kind of energy that children demand.” ~ Rahima Baldwin Dancy You Are Your Child’s First Teacher
On this Day 4, strive to integrate your womanhood with your motherhood. Is there a unique blend of the two for you to create? Finding your rhythm of fulfillment with the life passions you have and bringing that energy and zest for life into your mothering so your children benefit from a parent who is inspired and content with her life – this is the inner work for us today.
Related posts:
- Raising Children & Sharing Your Gifts With the World? A Lot Depends on Who You Married
- What Will You Tell Your Daughter About Motherhood?
- Day 5: The Kids Have Routines, Do You?
- Day 5: 12 Days to Stop Yelling
- Day Three: 12 Days to Stop Yelling
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Tags: choices, community, fortitude, guilt, integrity, Self-Care, self-discipline, sleep, soul fever, teaching, tribe
Raelee,
Oh, I recognized what you wrote here: Your child can pick up on your unrest, your dissatisfaction, your resentment of mothering.
When I read Cheryl Richardson’s newest book on the art of extreme self-care last year, she talked about how when a mother doesn’t take care of herself, her children feel her resentment. The consequence is that they then feel responsible for mom’s happiness – and they also feel like they have to compromise their happiness. They don’t feel like they can outshine their mother. They are burdened.
Wow, did that hit home for me.
Here’s what I learned: a mother’s happiness (perhaps contentment is a better word) provides the safe container for the child to create their own happiness.
I am amazed at how much my children pick up on from me. I can have a song in my head and they pick up on it and start singing it without my saying a word. Or I’ll be thinking of someone and they’ll say, “Let’s call so and so,” the very person I was just thinking about. This happens so frequently it’s eerie. It makes me pause about what other thoughts they are picking up on – like the thoughts about my wanting to run away from home when I am overwhelmed or my thoughts of irritation when they are oinky.
Thank you for the food for thought, Raelee.
Karly, I am so grateful for your further insight about how intuitive and connected our children are to us. We have such a significant task as mothers – how blessed we are to have these daily personal challenges to learn from and strengthen, eh? So glad you are on this mothering journey with me.