Disclaimer: The purpose of today’s post is in no way to make you feel like a failure or to instill feelings of guilt.  As a mom, I have enough feelings of failure and guilt to last me for years so the last thing I need is more of that!  For me, wisdom inspires me and helps me focus on the end goal.  When I hear something that pushes me to strive harder toward my goal, I feel motivated to change.

So, with that in mind I hope this passage serves to inspire you as you continue on this 12 day journey!

Day 5

Mothering a young child presents you with opportunities to grow, personally.

“In the Kingdom of Childhood, Rudolf Steiner says that the child in the first seven years is really an eye.  If someone has fits of temper and becomes furiously angry either with the child or in the presence of the child, the child will have the picture of this outburst throughout his entire being.”

“Everything we do in the presence of the child goes in deeply.  Scolding, threats, and yelling do not help in disciplining young children.  This approach may actually weaken their ability to deal with situations later in life.  They get a little shock from these experiences.  If these shocks occur regularly, children create barriers to protect themselves.  Their souls harden a bit, and we find that we just can’t seem to get through to them.”

“If we preach at a child, she does not really hear the message because she must erect a barrier against the anger we are emanating.  This barrier prevents her from perceiving our message.  What she will learn is to express anger, distance herself from others, and preach at those who displease her.”

~Excerpts from Beyond the Rainbow Bridge by Barbara Patterson and Pamela Bradley

A mom on my Facebook Fan Page had this say about the 12 day challenge…

“While yelling less is a good goal, I think many of us give ourselves an unwarranted self-beating when we do it. We’re not bad parents when/because we yell. I think one side of the coin is learning strategies that enable parents to feel effective, the other side of the coin is to accept that all parents yell sometimes and we’re not “bad parents,” just human.”

I completely agree with the above comment. I think there’s certainly a spectrum that is important to recognize.  Some of you may find that you yell under very specific circumstances on occasion, while others of you are realizing that it’s become the only strategy you implement or at least a habit you’ve gotten into more than what you’re comfortable.

The overall tone of your home is a good place to gain perspective. As Dr. Phil would say, “Is your home a soft place to fall for each of your family members?”  I know you want a level of warmth and love present in your home.  You can choose to use respectful effective tools, be open to the personal growth motherhood is bringing into your life, to stretch yourself reach for those spiritual qualities of patience, flexibility, self-discipline, and confidence.

Be rigorous and stay accountable to your goal while remembering to be gentle with yourself as you make mistakes and learn.

Related posts:

1. Day Three: 12 Days to Stop Yelling
2. Day 8: 12 Days to Stop Yelling
3. Day One: 12 Days to Stop Yelling
4. Day Two: 12 Days to Stop Yelling
5. Day 7: 12 Days to Stop Yelling

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Tags: Children Under Age 7, communication, consequences, discipline, family culture, intention, self-discipline, simplicity parenting

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009 at 7:00 am and is filed under 12 Days to Stop Yelling. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.