We’ve heard of the “terrible 2s” but doesn’t it seem that 3 is much more challenging??

You’re not crazy.  It is certainly true that 2 year olds can be tough to take since many of them are just beginning to use words in full sentences and to finally be able to ask for what they want.  Two year olds want independence but they are also still wanting to be our baby.

On some level, our expectations of our 2 year olds is fairly low, whereas when they reach the age of 3, we are seeing a

new level of defiance, stubbornness, and full blown tantrums

that can make life…mmm…not so easy.

Now, according to Louise Bates and Frances L. Ilg of the famous Gesell Institute of Child Development series of books, 3 year olds are a breeze compared to those fiesty 3 1/2 year olds!  Their theory is that our children experience more “equalibrium” at the whole ages and “disequalibrium” at the 1/2 ages.  So you may feel that your 2 1/2 year old has suddenly become a bit more testy but that as he gets closer to age 3, he will come more into balance.  Watch out as they approach those 1/2 way milestones.  And, of course, there’s always the exception to the rules!

Read these examples of one mom’s daily struggles with her 3 year old; can you relate?

I don’t know if my daughter has a genetic problem, ADHD or just some mother-daughter issues, but this is how she’s acted lately:

• She threw a fit when I wouldn’t buy her something at the grocery store, so I gave her a timeout. She immediately took off her pants and underwear.

• She had another fit when her preschool teacher asked her to sit down. First she threw a pillow at her, then hit her and kicked her stomach — and the teacher is seven months pregnant.

• She couldn’t reach the crayons at a Sunday brunch, so she ran through the restaurant until I caught her and put her in timeout.

• She uses half a bottle of soap to wash her hands and then smears soap all over the bathroom counter.

• She hides from me in department stores because she thinks it is a game, and she runs away when I pick her up from preschool, even though I call, yell, scold, use timeout or even spank her.

• She says “No!” and “Stop it!” to me all the time, instead of “Yes, ma’am.”

I loved the article in the Washington Post where this mom posted and Marguerite Kelly answered this mother’s question of how to manage her feisty 3 year old, beautifully.  She provides great suggestions and feedback.

Are you a mom trying to learn new ways of handling your own fiesty 3 year old?  Contact me for a 1-on-1 Get Aquainted session or grab two of your friends with 3 year olds and I can coach your small group! You can survive this phase too.