I just had to share a personal triumph of how I went to the library with my 6 year old and my energetic 3 year old today without a hitch.  If you have been following my Mom Moments Newsletters and listening in to my teleclasses (especially the one “No More Punishment: What To Do Instead), then you know that I recommend Lynne Reeves Griffin’s book, Negotiation Generation. 

In the book she talks about the idea that if you can predict your child’s misbehavior, then you can prevent it.  I love it.  It’s always the simple things that really are quite difficult.

In the past, my 3 year old has been so delighted by the rows of books at the library that I inevitably have found myself chasing after him while he proceeds to pull out soft covers and hardbacks, leaving a bread crumb trail of destruction in his wake.  He also never ceases to use an outside voice as he screams in delight at being able to find a book about dinosaurs or sharks.  Yes, I can now predict his behavior at the library and now, according to Griffin, I can prevent it.  No more raised eyebrows or surprised looks of dismay from the library staff and patrons for us!

Today, we sat in the library parking lot and I looked both children square in the eye and said, “We are going into the library and we will use inside voices.” To my ds I said, “You will ride in the stroller and I will give you books to look at.  You will not be allowed to get out of the stroller.”  His eyes looked at mine and felt I was understood!  I repeated my instructions 2 or 3 times as we were walking toward the doors just to make sure all was clear.

Good news!  There were a couple of times he was ancy to get out of the stroller, but I was efficient in our book collecting and keeping the time short and sweet seemed to help him immensely.  There was no devil child on the loose on this day at the library on my watch!  Victory, baby.